The World of Tim...

Antics from the Gene Pool...

With others in the gene pool like these folks, you've got to wonder how we evolved as far as we have as a species...

Instant Karma: In March in Leesburg, Va., a driver's license test-taker was told by the examiner to park beside the Department of Motor Vehicles building, but she accidentally crashed into it, tearing a hole in the wall and forcing the department to close for the day. [Washington Post, 3-17-08] (I couldn't find anything that said whether the test-taker actually got her license or not...now that would be freaking funny!)

Least Competent Criminals: In March, Christopher Koch, 28, became the latest to wait outside a bank, building up his nerve to rob it, and then finally put on the ski mask and walk up to the front door only to realize that it was by then 12:01 p.m., and the bank had closed at noon. (Employees got Koch's license plate number.) [Star-Gazette (Elmira, N.Y.), 3-13-08] (Reason number 1026 why I'm grateful for my continued employment...I probably would have tried to rob the joint on a bank holiday.)

Today's Useless Photo...

At least they focus on what is really important...

The New Yankee Stadium May Be Cursed!

Apparently, a devilish Boston fan working on a concrete crew at the $1.3 billion stadium covertly buried a Red Sox T-shirt under what will become the visiting team's locker room to jinx the Yanks, two construction workers told The New York Post yesterday.

"In August, a Red Sox T-shirt was poured in a slab in the visitor's clubhouse. It's the curse of the Yankees," one worker said. "Nobody knows about it. It's in the floors, it's buried." The workers say they now fear that they unwittingly helped hex their beloved Bronx Bombers. "I don't want to be responsible for sinking the franchise," said a second worker, who witnessed the sabotage. "I respect the stadium." The Post has withheld their identities because they are not authorized to speak to media.

Poultry Domicile Designer Wanted...

There is an aspect of my job that requires me to stay on top of trade journals, price indexes, technical bulletins and the like.  For the most part, this is dry, dull, mind numbing stuff that was written for engineers (like me) by other engineers and, well engineers are not exactly well known for their "entertaining" style of communication.  Once in a great while I find something that just makes me laugh...as did this article in the weekly "Random Lengths" report (note, I took the really boring, put you to sleep stuff out of what is here)..."Some traders have attributed relative strength in prices of Southern Pine 2x6 short lengths, particularly in #1, to strong housing starts — for chickens. Construction of chicken houses has surged on the heels of strong revenues and profits by poultry processing companies in 2007. The 2x6s are used for framing, bracing, and truss rafter chords. Traders believe chicken house builders are more inclined to use #1 than other buyers when the premium to #2 is relatively narrow."  Apparently, I'm in the wrong industry...I should be designing "poultry domiciles" not restaurants, apartments, condos and military housing.  All without the worries of seismic, wind or those pesky building codes (after all, do chickens really care if the building is safe and if they do, who will they complain to). So, as I get ready to hit send on that letter of resignation, I'm thinking that the economy has to be picking up then, right? Well maybe not...the article went on to say..."However, just as in human housing, chicken houses soon may be oversupplied. Citing near-record feed costs, poultry processors have scheduled shutdowns of plants and distribution centers later this year." Darn...there goes fame and fortune as the poultry domicile designer.  One thing is for sure though, I'll never look at a boneless, skinless chicken breast the same again... 

Hawk Attacks "A-Rod" at Fenway...

As reported on ESPN...For the record, I'm happy that the girl is okay but, the Yankees had better watch out next week...

BOSTON -- A 13-year-old girl touring Fenway Park on a school trip was attacked by a resident red-tailed hawk that drew blood from her scalp Thursday. She wasn't seriously hurt, but some observers saw an omen for a certain New York Yankees slugger in the attack at the home of the Boston Red Sox. The girl's name is Alexa Rodriguez. Vince Jennetta, a teacher who chaperoned her class trip from Memorial Boulevard Middle School in Bristol, Conn., told The Boston Globe that Alexa is "a little shaken, but OK."

The hawk was perched on a railing in the upper deck behind home plate while the group toured the stadium. The hawk flew at the girl and swooped with its talons extended, scratching her scalp. A single egg lay in the hawk's nearby nest in an overhang near the stadium's press booth. The nest and egg were removed at the direction of state wildlife officials.